Dizziness and Panic Attacks

Yep, they have started and earlier than it did with Ava. I tell ya this kiddo isnt making anything easy for me. The morning sickness has improved, not gone but improved. But last week I had my first of 2 Anxiety Attacks. Yesterday was the worse, I was dizzy from 6 am to about noon. Why? Most say its all the blood doubling, tripling in my body and NOW going to the baby. GREAT!! I love that everything seems to be going on schedule but being dizzy and pale for almost 6 hours while working on 15 files isnt my idea of a good day. Work has been busy, no time to be sick or not feeling well. I pride myself on the good and fast job I do but haven't been able to do it the way I would like to for about 7 weeks now. My poor blood pressure is dropping during the day and making me woozy, its already low to begin with and when it drops to even a lower number my head spins. These wonderful little dizzy attacks have started 2 whole months earlier than I experienced with Ava. Some say a boy? Some say another girl? I am saying maybe this one will have some Kidwiler in it. LOL I was a pain in the butt for my mom when she was carrying me, and everytime I call her about something she says 'you did the same to me'. Ava was not a breeze pregnancy just not high maintenance like this one has been. I didnt need to call in sick or leave work early or stop working to put my head in between my legs and make myself breath to keep from getting dizzy. Of course going into this I knew it would be completely different and have told everyone the next one would be my 'difficult' child and it is already proving me right. Dizziness is just scary. For anyone who has aniexty attacks because of any reason knows they are no fun at all. My mom had them with all of us and I expected to have them again with this one like I did with Ava. I think its just scarier having Ava around. She doesnt understand what is going on, she just rolls with it. Hopefully the hormone levels will even out a little bit and the blood will increase enough to let my body handle it. I dont see it happening but I hope. I keep saying a few more weeks and hopefully it will all be over but I dont think this one is going to let up at 13 weeks like Ava, I think it will be one thing after another and I will just deal. So far I think I have done well dealing with them, just need to keep taking care of myself like I have and keep chugging along.

Holy Cow..Sick Sick Sick

Ok so with Ava my sickness didn't begin until about week 8 and cleared out around week 13. It was only in the evenings and I ate what I wanted during the day. This little one is completely seriously different. I have been sick since before I even knew I was pregnant, which is why I tested, and I have been sick ever since. It is all day some days and just certain times of the day other days. I have many food aversions and sometimes want something soo bad until its right in front of me and I smell it, then I no longer want it. I know this can be fustrating trust me I am fustrated but I am also excited about bringing another little one into this world. Kenny has been great, letting me vent when I need to vent, cry when I need to cry, and stopping a conversation for 5 minutes because I need to go to the bathroom to get sick. Ava on the other hand has been great in her own little way. Yes, she does take care of me, she hugs me when she knows I am not feeling well and will sit on my lap for hours while I am resting, but she is also makes fake gagging noises and holds her stomach like it is upset. She likes mocking her mommy getting sick as much as she likes putting toilet paper in my face and wiping my tears. The sickness is better some days then others. I have been just taking it day by day trying to figure out what to eat and what to stay away from. It's been different but at this point there is no going back.

Not Knowing what is going on...

Ok So work has been crazy. December 23rd the government posted our jobs for public view. Since December 23rd we have been anxious to what our future holds. They have gone through the applications, the certs have been posted, yes I made some of the certs, but the job is not guaranteed. They had over 14,000 applications come through and I made the cert. I am just thankful that my resume will be looked at for consideration for my job that I have been doing for the past 3 years.

Right now, its just a waiting game. I try not to think about it. It's more stressful than anything. I figure it is already decided for me in my path in my life and I will find out soon enough what is there for me.

Looks like the supervisory positions have been chosen which means now its everyone else's turn to be chosen through. Where is my ranking? I didnt ask. Where do I stand to qualify? I dont know. When will I know one way or another? Our contract ends on June 30th. If a supervisor hasnt called me and offered me a position on this deck by then that will be my last day. Should I be looking for another job? Yes. Is there any out there? None that will compare to what I am doing now but yes.

They say by June 1st most of the positions will be placed. Will I be one of them? I hope so for my mariners. But I guess we shall see.

Growing So Fast

My Avabug is growing like a weed. She is just learning so much and talking up a storm. It is unbelievable how fast kids grow. She is so sweet. She has been talking on pretend phones lately having vivid conversations with everyone she knows. She is getting more and more teeth. Its just fun to watch her imagination develop. She is playing more and more with her dolls, feeding and taking care of them. She will be at her kitchen and bring me a 'cup of tea'. She can be a handful sometimes. She has a mind of her own and she is stubborn sometimes that I just walk away until she makes her decision. She likes to do things at her own time. She understands directions so well that sometimes we just sit here amazed. She is still tiny. She is starting to get thick hair and Becky actually pulled some of it up in a little teeny tiny ponytail. She loves her cousins. Asks for them by name and demands to see them at times. She loves the outdoors. Taking her outside hasnt been an easy thing with the weather but now that it is getting warm it is hard to get her back inside. She loves her daddy. She mocks his actions and makes noises with him (yelling and gibberish). She talks with him whether he is there or not. (on her phone) I cannot believe she will be 18 months next week.

Adding to the Family

So it looks like another little Bowers is on her/his way. We found out last month that we are expecting our 2nd child in October. Excitement is not even the word describe how we are feeling. We are thrilled to be adding another little one to our household and sharing our love. Ava is too young yet to understand but I know she will be a great big sister. I hope to keep everyone updated as best as I can about the pregnancy as we move along.